Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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