Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
