this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
