We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
her vagine was all disorganized.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
