Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
