You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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