I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
