The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
