Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize