I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
