Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
