I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
