You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
