Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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