You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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