hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
