Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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