So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize