Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
