tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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