when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
How external is "for external use only"?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize