i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
