we have officially lost it.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize