He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
