but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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