Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
