I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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