Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
