Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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