She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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