I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
