Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
