HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
