He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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