so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
