No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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