just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This is my gift to your gina
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
