it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
