On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
