You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Shame - the story of my life.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
