Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
