...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize