I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
