Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
