Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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