One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
areolas are like halos for boobs.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
