I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
