my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
