Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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