i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
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I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
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I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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