yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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