Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
